Thursday, October 18, 2007

Being sick really sucks

I started coming down w/ a cold sometime Tuesday evening.  Actually, I was feeling a little froggy during choir practice on Monday night, but that's not all that unusual for me since I sing WAY too loud.  Some of the songs for our Christmas Concert have some really high unison parts and some higher alto parts, so I think that puts a strain on my voice too.  I should just take the unison parts easy and let the sopranos take their lead (the one's in our choir seem to like to do that), but I don't... I belt it out like there is no tomorrow, probably sounding like crap the whole time, but it's great fun anyway.
So Tuesday after we picked up P from school, we went to the park and played for about an hour.  I started the Monkey socks (they are frogged already though :(  while they played.  It was such a pretty day out too.  Not too windy, not too hot, not too cold and not rainy.  We had homemade crunchy tacos for dinner.  I took P to scouts.  Somewhere in there, I started sniffling and sneezing my head off.  I also had a test in CIS 164 that was due by 1159p.  I fumbled my way through that.  Once my cold hit, I quickly became exhausted.
Now I have homework due for my Windows class tomorrow, design team pages to finish and turn in to the store and my Charlie Brown SP package to get out.  All I feel like doing is laying in bed.  P doesn't have school tomorrow (P/T conferences) but Q does so I still have to get up, get myself and 2 boys dressed and get out of the house at the usual time.  I just feel like sleeping and knitting, and watching Greys Anatomy of course.  
I should be in bed... I want to be in bed.  But I'm here, and I want to be here too.  I'm finding myself in this weird limbo lately that I want to be known.  I'm not even sure what I mean by that either.  This might just be the cold medicine talking too. 
When I started this blog it was just for me.  I thought I'd post a few thoughts.  It seemed like a good place to actually create my journaling for my scrapbook pages.  I could write everything when it happened, and then when I was ready to create a page, all I had to do was print it all out.  I find myself scrapping less and less all the time.  And that makes me feel guilty.  Do I just get rid of all the scrapbook stuff... do I hang on to it and try to be better about organizing so I'll want to crop more?  Do I make a schedule, crop this day, knit this day? 
And I find myself weirded out about this whole blog thing.  Do I want others to read it, or do I want to keep it all for me.  I don't mind sharing my address w/ strangers, but I haven't given it out to any of my family and most of my friends.  What's holding me back.  I don't get personal so what's to be afraid of.  And why don't I get personal?  What's the real harm.  Am I afraid of being judged?  Probably so.  Why do I care what other people think of me?  Why am I still this 3rd grader at a new school stuck in a 32 year old's body? 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hope you're feeling better. I hear you about the blog. My family never visits it, but lots of people I've never met do.

I'm loading up your box today, hopefully I'll even get it mailed today, but, that will depend on a few things. Tomorrow for sure.

Feel better. Eat chocolate!

Your Weenie!